This Is Pretty Gross

My screwtooth.

I knocked my front tooth out when I was in the 4th grade, they shoved it back in, and in November I had it pulled and a cow bone graft put in. Then I had a screw put in. This is a post onto which my forever tooth will be attached. I recently went to the dentist to have impressions taken so they can make my forever tooth. They told me they weren't going to numb me blah blah blah it wasn't supposed to be a big deal. But when I got there, my superhuman Wolverine gums had grown over the post, so it couldn't easily be screwed in or out with the little wrench and screwdriver they use (really, it's a mini wrench and screwdriver! It seems like dentistry would have more advanced tools). The dentist was all "I'll give you some topical stuff, but I'm gonna have to cut away that tissue." That's fine, I'm a tough broad, but he didn't even wait for the damn stuff to work before he started using his little exacto knife.

Anyway, the feeling of having things screwed in and out of your bone is bizarre. It doesn't hurt, exactly, but you know how you can see a piece of wood stress and bend when you are screwing something into it? It feels like that, but with bonez!

Usually the screw head is flush with my gums, so you only see a little bit of silver. And you only see that when I'm not wearing my flipper. And you only see that if you are Tim, or if I am feeling jokey.

I took this picture with my cell phone when the dentist and hygienist left the

room. I really wish I had been doing this all along, because this is definitely the least gruesome picture I could have gotten! I've had like... four operations so far. Almost over! Yay modern dentistry!

Also, this picture makes me feel like I could maybe be of some help to John Connor. Like, if he needed someone to rip apart a leather couch with their teeth to stop the killing machines. I AM THERE.